It's really amazing how things change after one retires. Why just last week my sweet wife said she wasn't happy with the couch we had in the living room. ( I have to admit, when I was 30 I could get up and out of them pretty easy, but now that I am older, why the couch has somehow shrunk down to the floor, and it's darn hard to get up from the floor these days.)
So we went looking for newer couches. ( Newer because retirement does not allow poor folk to buy them fancy new couches.) We started our adventure by looking on craigslist. Sweety wanted a nice couch with lots of good cushions, and that was high up from the floor.

Sweety said we should look for something more firm. The first set was nice and big. A sectional. Firm, and bright white. The least little speck could be seen across the highway from our house. So Sweety decided not to get them, as they were decidedly good, but too "white" for her tastes.

Next we went to another ad and found just the ones she wanted. These were the kind that would wrap around you when you sat down, firm but loving. I looked as she sat down on the couch and disappeared from view. All I could see was the top of her head and her eyeballs. We had to help her out of the chair, which I swear, sighed with sadness that she got out of the couch.
I tried to talk her out of getting the set, but to no avail. She wanted, no....she needed that loving couch and matching love seat.

So we brought it home.

Mutt, took to the couch right away. He was languishing on it when we got back home. All you could see of him was one ear and his tail. I swear I could hear him snoring from somewhere in the couch. It took a half-hour to get him out of the couch. In doggy language he kept saying, "Just fifteen minutes more!"

Well we couldn't have guests coming over to the house and disappearing when they sat down on the couch, so we had to firm it up a bit. Sweety suggested that we go get some furniture fixers.

The furniture fixers worked well enough, Sweety could sit down without disappearing and the couch was a little less huggy and loving. But she still had a problem. The couch was too low to the ground for her to get out of without help.

So it was back to the store to get something to make the couch higher. Someone told us to get "bed lifters". So off we went in search of them. Two dozen stores and two hours later we finally found some and returned home. Mutt was no longer in the couch, but there was a definate drool spot where he had been lounging. ( At least I hope it was a drool spot.)

We had found a set which was adjustable. I was unable to get down to put them under the couch so Boy, put them under the couch legs and wallah, sweety could sit in the couch and get out again without any assistance. The couch was sitting some 5 inches higher now and Sweety was happy.

I was totally happy at this point, at least for a moment. Mutt found that he could not jump up onto the "loving" couch now since it had gotten higher, and decided that my loveseat was now his bed.

Mutt kept grinning at me when I tried to get him off of the loveseat. He was totally dedicated to sleeping where my fat fanny ought to be resting. I was furious, and was about to let Mutt know who was boss, when the head of the house said, 'Why don't you buy him a new toy and that way you can bribe him to get off of your loveseat."

What a wonderful idea.. so it was off to the store again to buy him a toy. Have you been to the dog store lately? there are so many toys, it took me almost an hour to pick out one, and bring it home.

As I walked in the door, Mutt started growling, (he knew it was time to lose his favorite place to lay.) I started waving my arms and calling his name and he just looked at me, rather skeptically. Then I jumped up and down talking in baby talk to him. He looked at sweety and just yawned. Finally I pulled out the toy and eurika! He jumped off of the couch and bounded over to where I was standing. He grabbed the toy and we played for about 20 minutes. Finally he quit playing and lay down to chew on his new toy.

I was exhausted and moved over to the loveseat to sit down, but before I could plant my bottom on the thing, Mutt grabbed his toy and bounded onto the loveseat and curled up right where I was going to sit.

I looked at sweety and she saw in my eyes that I was thinking about going over to sit next to her on the couch. She gave me that look like "don't even think about it." So I was sort of stuck out for now.

At any rate, I figure that Mutt will have to eat sometimes, and I can sneak into the living room to sit on the loveseat when He isn't looking. Problem is, we didn't put lifters under that furniture, so if I do sit there, I will have to have help to get out of it, in case I get caught. Since I retired, my knees aren't what they used to be anymore. So our next project is to buy some more "bed lifters" and put them under the loveseat.

Mutt however is not as dumb as I give him credit for....whenever he eats, if he sees me going into the living room, he peeks his head around the doorway and looks to see what I am doing.

Hmmm, perhaps when the loveseat is lifted and Mutt can't get up on it anymore, I will finally have the pleasure of sitting in my favorite spot. Only trouble is, if it is too high, my legs will go to sleep and I won't be able to walk when I have to go to the bathroom!

I wonder if they have any good second-hand leather chairs I can buy? I can't wait next payday!